Rape Culture - When Your Children Learn It at Home

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No parents ever want to cultivate the idea of rape in their kids’ mind. However, to our surprise, we may accidentally teach our kids about rape culture. Here’s how:

Be too easy-going with your boys

We all know that boys are active, however, many parents take it as an excuse when their kids turn naughty sometimes. Regular use of this excuse, in turn, make the children become violent and destructive when they feel free to tease or even hit their fellows. “Boys will be boys” is not a good saying in this case. Through many times hearing it, naughty boys learn that they are behaving up to rules and the misbehavior is a part of their personality.

Turn hugging and kissing to a reluctance

Many parents order their kids to hug and kiss others people, relatives or friends for example, not concerning whether the kids like it or not. This gradually gives them the idea that those intimate behaviors can come from one side. And, it does not matter if the receivers are welcoming it or against it. There are other ways to show love and care to others. Instead of forcing the kids, you can gentle give them clue as “Do you want to give uncle a hug?” or “How about having a high-five with your cousin?” Try to teach your children from the beginning that consent is important.

Keep blaming the child for misbehaviors

There are times when the mother or father asking the question “What did you do to make him hit you?” Kids fighting with one another is common in childhood. At that point, a parent’s reaction plays an important role. Posing that question, you may make the kids think that victims can be the triggers. Moreover, the violent act results from the victim’s fault, not the aggressor’s. This scenario is similar to when the society asking the victim of a sexual assault “How did you dress that night?” Get to know the whole story before saying anything when facing a kid fight. Plus, let them know that the aggressor is the one in control of their anger. No one can force anyone to choose a violent act.

Give negative comments on women

Parents are kids’ first teachers. Anything we say or do has a huge impact on our children. Thus, if you give negative comments on women about their dressing or sexuality, the kids would listen to you and remember your words. Slowly, they may hold a belief that, in some situations, the women deserve to be raped.


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