If you are struggling with joint custody, take a look at this article. Here are some tips to help you manage joint custody and offer the best for your children.
Do not speak evil
Do not speak badly about your ex. What you say about the ex is what the child will respond to and also think about them. Even though you may be annoyed at your ex, your child still loves him or her as a parent. However you feel about your ex, keep your feelings to yourself.
It is not about you
The divorce was about you, but custody is about the children. Divorce may result in emotional tunnel vision and people get so concentrated on their own hurts and needs that they forget the goal of creating a good childhood. Custody is not about getting exactly what you want or even asking equity at any cost. The hardest part for co-parents is keeping in mind that time with the child is not a prize to be won but a gift to be loved. Shared custody works best when both parents set aside their personality and figure out that what is best for the child is not always what feels good for you as a parent.
Be realistic about your own routine and commitments
Often throughout a separation or divorce, parents make unrealistic custody grabs on the ground of the fear or insecurity. Instead, have a look at custody as a business arrangement. Eliminate your emotions from the situation and look at the facts.
A bad spouse does not mean a bad parent
Even though he or she may have been a bad spouse, it is still possible for him or her to be a great parent. In most cases, it is absolutely best for children to have regular and continuous contact with both parents. For good or for bad, the kid desires and needs to feel the love of both parents. How to do that? Put the demand and well-being of your children first. Keep in mind that when the children are with your ex, they are with the one person in the world who loves and cares about them as much as you do.
Seek for an agreeable way to communicate
For joint child custody to work, communication becomes key. Because of your children (and your sanity), you need to find a method of communication that is effective to you and your ex.
Pick your battles
Let’s be honest. Parenting is hard enough by itself and co-parenting adds another layer of complexity. Avoid as many as conflicts as possible with your ex by open. When disagreements start to arise, consider if the conflict is truly worth a battle. Try to be as clear about your position as possible and keep in mind that if a judge has to decide it, no one will like the decision most likely. Fight only for the things that deserve fighting. School choices, vacations, and parenting time deserves the fight. Things like food choices, unless there is a known medical matter like diabetes or food allergies, are not worth the fight.
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Review Date: August 30, 2017 | Last Modified: August 30, 2017
9 Rules to Make Joint Child Custody Work. http://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/coping/making-shared-custody-work/. Accessed March 11, 2017.