We usually talk about grief and the grieving process as if it were a different category of emotional experience somehow from all the others. Since grief means confronting death, mortality and suffering from ultimate loss, the grieving process does have an exceptionally large and pervasive effect on our feelings and emotions.

The grieving period

During the grieving period, we might experience a wide range of emotions with various degrees of intensity. In a time of an important personal loss, it is just like a part inside of us has died. Lots of people who lose their partner or best friend feel that they have lost the one with whom they felt emotionally safe. There can also be a unique sense of emptiness, such as an empty house, empty mind, or empty heart. Sometimes we may be mad at our beloved one for abandoning us, or we may even be angry at ourselves for crying in public since we think that should have been stronger instead. We might be jealous of other people when we see that they possess what we have lost. Moreover, we may even hope for death and may have passing thoughts about suicide.

Obstacles to the grieving process

Since we struggle to face and deal with the death of a loved ones, it will be much helpful to know that certain conditions, events, and circumstances can be obstacles to the grieving process. These may include:

  • Dealing with the roller coaster of feelings: sadness, loneliness, emptiness, anxiety, anger, guilt, jealousy, confusion, depression.
  • Tackling the stacks of daily tasks.
  • The dilemma with coping socially, hating it when one more person asks how we are doing, and being angry if they don’t ask.
  • Caring for our own physical and mental health.
  • Anniversaries, birthdays, holidays and other special occasions.
  • Disposing of our beloved’s clothes and other belongings.
  • Visiting the cemetery.
  • Adjusting to the financial problems, this is especially stressful when the loss of someone means a serious loss of income.
  • Relating to others, e.g, the way parents, siblings, children, and friends relate to each other.
  • Learning to be responsible for all the tasks our lost one used to handle.
  • Facing the grief without denying it.

No one can offer us any orderly or easy ways that will help us to quickly move through our grief. The grieving progress, by its very own nature, is messy and very difficult, and getting over grief takes much time, effort, patience, tears, support and even prayer.

Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

msBahasa Malaysia

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